The Delusion of Hope

I hope you led with love today. Let's get into it.

It takes a kaleidoscope of a mind to... experience failures, allow space to grieve, and remain relentlessly optimistic for the future. The fine line between hope and delusion is the moment of success.

For those unaware, I have been "cursed" with a passion to create and perform art - Homo sapiens' kryptonite. With the power to build and destroy, the value of any given art form is determined by the scale of public approval. This means the ability to attach wealth to the manifestation of an individual's imagination is beholden to the volume and/or status of those appraising it. This applies to every industry. While this may seem like a beacon with a world population of over 8 billion people, there are over 8 billion people trying to make a living on their imaginations.

Needless to say, it's rough in these streets...

Two blessings that have come from getting laid off are more time and higher stakes. I have always been one to pursue what I want with fervor. The grind is in my DNA, but the 9-5 brought comfort I couldn't resist. The universe didn't have to jolt me awake in such a disrespectful manner, but I'll have that mediation after my final breath.

With the utter chaos that is the current job market, I decided to place a few eggs in my own basket and bet on myself again. 

I have spent the last 4 months consuming and creating art on a scale I have never done thus far in life. I've gone to countless museums, art galleries, live performances, and scenic experiences. I continued creating music/singing/rapping with 33-(3+22)-33 EP (next EP coming August 2026), learned how to sew my own clothes, dabbled in painting, began this blog, designed more ArkHouse products and content for a digital billboard ad (a financial leap I look to invest in myself), and returned to screenwriting (Pseudo G). I thoroughly enjoy a calm life, but this era is called "Lock TF in!"

With all of this, I am not too proud to admit the glass ceiling will not break. I am in the stage of the artist's journey where I, frankly, feel unseen and undervalued. It is increasingly discouraging, but here comes the kaleidoscope of multiple truths:

• Do I get compliments on myself and my work? Yes
• Have those compliments materialized into a sustainable career? No
• Does that feel discouraging? Yes
• Do I second guess my vision and talent? Yes
• Will I give up? No

In reality, the volume of rejections and failures have increased over the past few years. It has been difficult to navigate. However, I feel no shame in being delusional. I know everything will work out one day. I know my dreams will come true. When I see something I want, I go for it full speed. While that often leads to increased rejection, it also breeds pleasant outcomes (some that honestly come as a surprise). 

• Do I believe in myself? Yes
• Do I know what I'm doing? Yes and no
• Do I fail more than I succeed? Yes
• Do I believe my fortified hope/faith will make my delusions reality? Yes 

I want us all to win. And we will, too!

Thank you for reading and please decide to lead with love.

See you next time! 😉